Back to work

I'm back going into the office every day. It's weird after having been working from home since Nov. 1st. Packing a lunch; schlepping stuff back and forth; using a public restroom; it's funny how space affects us.

Discovered progresso low cal soup and lean cuisine frozen meals. Portable and countable. That's what I need.

And I am married to the most wonderful, supportive man on the planet. Gracias, mi amor.

Here we are in December 2008, playing with the built-in camera on the Mac.

December 29th, 2008

And just like that, a year has almost passed since I last posted.

And what a year it was.

Some highlights

-new daughter
-job hunt
-dissertation
-house hunt
-trip to Italy
-pack
-move
-new car engine
-unpack
-more job hunt
-living apart
-living together
-dissertation
-basement flood

Whew. Honestly, I'll be happy to see the door of 2008. Though bringing Cecilia home was no doubt the best thing that happened, and the trip to Italy was also spectacular, many other things would be happily never repeated. Like breaking a timing belt on our car speeding down the highway, resulting in a new engine for the car. Like packing and move an entire household, basically by myself. Like living on my own with 2 kids and 3 pets for 3 months. Like trying to work, parent, and dissertate all at the same time.

Here's hoping 2009 brings lots of normality. Whatever that looks like.

Some photos from February, 2008.

Yowza - we've been home over a week!

Time is flying and of course there's not time to blog. It's been a great week, though. Hector has been home on paternity leave and is doing all kinds of good bonding with Cecilia as well as lots of lego play with Sam. I've been trying to make some strides on my dissertation while he's around because starting next week, it'll really get tough.

He's such a great dad - patient, instructive, logical, enthusiastic, calm, nurturing. He so much wishes he could be a stay at home dad. If only we weren't so addicted to his salary.

With one parent per child, there's no one to take pictures. Here are a few and sorry they need to be rotated. Can't quite figure that out because in my iphoto library the orientation is fine. Why blogger turns them around, I don't know.

6 month doctor visit pictures

We got this nice surprise this evening. New pictures and good news on the health front. She's up to 14 pounds and is sitting up, rolling over, putting things in her mouth, pulling up her socks, and making coffee. (Okay, I exaggerate...)

Definitely worth the wait like the onesie says.

Counting down

One week from today Sam and Hector go to Guatemala and I go the following day. We're getting really pumped now. The crib is almost assembled; the clothes have been borrowed and bought; the changing table is loaded; the car seats and stroller have arrived, we just need the baby now.

It's still weird to think that starting in one week, we will be Cecilia's parents; we will be spending every moment with her for a very long time. We are going to try to have no baby-sitters for the first several months so we'll be doing a hand-off system with Hector at home in the mornings and me in the afternoon/evenings. That means doing everything we want/need to do with her in tow or passing her off to the other parent. I think we're going to end up doing more and more online, as well as do less and less overall. But in the midst of all that, a dissertation *will* get done. Yes it will. No questions, no doubts.

I need to catch up on some reading:
1. Attaching in Adoption / Gray
2. Real Parents, Real Children / van Gulden
3. Touchpoints, Birth - 3, the chapter on 6 months / Brazelton

Any other suggestions?

The happiest of new years

Happy New Year to you!

We are going to go get our daughter and bring her home. We got the e-mail message on the 31st telling us our appointment is January 14th at 7am. We will fly down next week and get her on Friday the 11th. Then hang out until the appointment Monday morning.
Then, because nothing is easy, we wait until Tuesday to get the visa, and of course by the time that is delivered, there are no more flights out, so we'll leave Wednesday morning.

It's a bit of a fox-chicken-grain-canoe-river crossing problem. I will be in Philly at a conference the 7th to the 10th having preliminary job interviews. Hector and Sam will fly down on Thursday so they can get Cecilia Friday morning. I'll come home on Thursday from the conference and fly Friday afternoon. I'll leave a car with two car seats at the airport, Sam and Hector will take the metro to the airport. At some point, the dog will go to the vet and a friend will watch the cats.

We come home on the 16th and Hector will still have a week of paternity leave so at least we don't have to jump right into the thick of things the day we arrive.

Of course in typical Miriam fashion the first thing to discuss are the logistics (Myers-Briggs "S"). Check that off the list (Myers-Briggs "J")! You all know them now, and that's done so I can move on to the more emotional aspects of this (Myers-Briggs "F"). Whew! is all I can say. I just want her home. I did not enjoy the process very much, although compared to so many other stories I've heard, our case was really smooth, so I can't complain about the specifics. I am so ready to be a parent to her for real. I've set up the changing table, bought and washed new clothes, and will get the crib ready in the next few days. (Oops, back to logistics.) It's not like it was with Sam, but it's just as amazing and special in its own way. (Just to complete the analysis, would blogging be an expression of a Myers-Briggs I or E? Maybe a balance of the two? Interacting with others, but in an introverted way? Hmm I'll have to think about that...)

Thanks to you all who have support me through this process. I can't for you to meet Cecilia.

LIght PInk

Maybe we have pink - maybe we don't. Today we learned that two other families who had DNA taken the same day we did got their pink slips LAST FRIDAY. Our agency believes our e-mail should have been in that same bunch and that likely there was a typo and delivery problem with the e-mail. The other families have appointments on the 11th of January, but ours could be a day earlier or later, too. But we don't know ANYTHING because the US embassy only sends the email to the parent petitioner (me) and no one else. If they mis-type my e-mail address, no one ever knows.

I e-mailed the embassy today and got an automated reply saying that it is taking 7 days, not counting weekends and holidays, to reply to email. Today is the 26th. Seven days, not counting weekends and holidays, puts us at Tuesday the 8th. We'd have to be LEAVING the 9th if the appointment were the 11th.

So basically, unless something happens, we won't get confirmation of our appointment until we've missed it. How screwed up is that?

We've been advised to start calling the embassy the morning of the 2nd of January and also call our senators. Looks like we need some big time help here.

What a stupid system. I guess I should say, what another stupid system.

Christmas Eve

Almost time to get dressed and head over to the Christmas Eve service. I've been sick for the last 10 days and finally went to the doctor to discover I have bronchitis. So no singing tonight - just listening. Lots to listen for, though.

No pink today. Maybe Wednesday?

Blessings to you on this holy night.

Merry Christmas.

9 days and counting

The second DNA test was taken 9 days ago. (oops, passive voice.) The embassy nurse took Cecilia's DNA 9 days ago. (That just sounds worse! I'm sticking with the passive voice this time.)

People seem to be getting their "pink" notice 13 or 14 days after the test. That would put us on the 25th or 26th. No chance of that, I'm sure. Hopefully between the 26th and the 28th...

Someone who got her "pink" yesterday has an appointment on the 9th, so we know ours at least will not be before the 9th. That's right in the middle of my conference, so maybe we'll just squeek by and our embassy appointment will be after the conference. I *never* thought I'd be hoping for a few extra days of waiting...

I guess these last few days will pass pretty quickly with parties, Christmas Eve service, Christmas day festivities, and the ever present school work.

9 days and counting...

Dear U.S. Embassy in Guatemala

Happy upcoming holidays to all. I am sure you all have desks full of work. I am sure you all are looking forward to the brief time off you will have over the holidays. I am sure you are being deluged by calls, letters, and e-mails from anxious adoptive parents trying to find out information about their cases and about the impact of the new adoption law. So as not to distract you from the work you need to do, I will not actually send this letter to you. I'd much rather you put the time that it would take to read this into processing my paperwork.

But if I did write you, I would, in my nicest tone possible, urge you to work as hard as possible to clear as many cases off your desks as possible before December 31st. You know better than I the implications of the new adoption law in Guatemala. But I think we'd all agree that there are likely to be kinks are worked out, and that the children in process are best served by a quick and delay-free processing of their cases. So please, summon your extra energy and push on with the Pre-Approvals and the Pinks so as many children as possible can advance as far as possible in their paths to their forever families.

Thanks so much and Merry Christmas and Blessed New Year to all.

Miriam

Heavy, heavy, heart

Some very good friends got a big punch in the gut today and I am very saddened for them. Delays in adoption are inevitable and I guess in the big picture they get forgotten. But at the moment the delays occur the pain is so strong and frustrating and all-consuming. It's really awful.

Take a moment today to be grateful for the children you have in your home, in your arms, and say a prayer for those who are still working and fighting to bring theirs home.

Thank you.

We have the 2nd DNA test!

Today Cecilia went to have her second DNA test. The results will be compared with her first results, confirming she was not swapped out in the process for another baby.

We're hitting the home stretch now. Maybe 3 weeks from today?

These will likely be the longest three weeks of my life, or certainly on par with the period from October 25th to November 8th, 2003.



Here she is saying, "Hi guys, I'm almost ready to come home now."

I'm off to see about airline tickets for three weeks from now.

My Issues with Baby Gear

I am realizing that blogging is giving me an outlet that ordinarily would only go to poor Hector. Now he's off the hook ('cause I'm pretty sure he's NOT reading this) and you, dear readers, are the recipients of vents and rants and what not.

Today's topic is baby gear.

I have issues. I feel like the makers of baby gear just want to sell you something. It's like the Sky Mall catalog. Most of the things in the Sky Mall catalog are things you a) didn't know existed, b) didn't know you had the problem that said item purports to solve, but c) feel you *must* have it once you've seen it. I mean, come on, who doesn't secretly wish they would be given the home cotton candy maker, complete with refills?

It's the same thing with baby gear. Take the stroller, for example. A) You didn't know you could get a stroller with wheels like roller blade wheels for superior driving. B) You had never realized it was difficult to push your current stroller. C) Now, you just want to dump your stroller at the nearest thrift store and buy the roller blade stroller.

That's how I've always felt, so I've just avoided baby stores over the last four years. We were fortunate to have been given hand-me-down baby gear when Sam was born, and whatever we got, that's what we used. Maybe there were better items out there, but we never explored. We used what we had and that was good enough for us. (We sound like we're of the depression-era generation!)

But over the last four years, we have observed other people with gadgets and gear and accessories that do seem to make life easier for them in some way. Like the plastic rings/hooks you can hang from a stroller handle from which you can then hang additional bags, purses, etc. A box of those only costs a few dollars, I guess, and would have certainly helped out at various times. What would have been the harm in having those? And there's the slippery slope...

Since we are a few weeks away from having Cecilia here, I've decided to start thinking about what items we need for her. We basically gave away or used-into-the- ground almost all of Sam's baby stuff, so for most things, we are starting from scratch. It is slowly sinking in that I might want to *consider* visiting a baby store, and (gasp! the horror!) buy something NEW for Cecilia.

Tentatively, I went to babiesrus.com today to just browse around. Kapow! right in the face, I could shop for play yards and swings and seats and strollers (6 kinds of strollers, mind you) and accessories, oh how I love a useful accessory. Gack! I'm overwhelmed. And the reviews from parents. It's amazing the details people notice and care about. And yet, since you have a choice of what stroller to buy, if leg rest height, or whether the seat belt comes from the shoulder or the side, or whether it has more than one cup holder is important to you, then you really should spend a few minutes reading about the different options. Sigh!

I want the gear that will make my life and Cecilia's life easier, but I don't want to get suckered into something unnecessary, and since I don't know what features are important to me on any given piece of equipment, I'm feeling, in a word, overwhelmed. Maybe what I need is a baby ergonomics expert to come and observe us (once Cecilia is here) for a day or two and learn our routines, patterns, preferences, habits, etc. Then that person can make recommendations on products that would assist us. Hey, maybe I should *be* that baby ergonomics expert. I could save people from buying stupid stuff and help them get what would be useful. (Okay, I'll put that aside for career number 4.)

Maybe what I should really do is read the Consumer Reports book on Best Baby Products. Or just tough it out, I mean, our parents didn't have half the stuff available now, and we turned out just fine, right? ... Right?

And buy the way, (pun intended), next time you're on a plane browsing the Sky Mall, could you pick me up a set of those portable weights that you fill with water? In case you ask, no, I don't usually lift weights, and no, I don't travel all that much, but, really, should the occasion arise, it's the tool for the job.

:-)